I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Randomize
