that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
