The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
