when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
