just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
