My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
