Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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