Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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