Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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