Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Randomize
