I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize
