your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
