She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
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