he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
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