Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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