these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
