Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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