Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
