My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
