But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Randomize