Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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