If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
