we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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