you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
