do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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