In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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