i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
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