Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
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