When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Randomize