Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize