I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
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