how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
