Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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