I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Randomize
