??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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