He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
