My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
