I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Me too!
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
