I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
sick fucks of a feather flock together
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Randomize
