whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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