there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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