I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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