Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Randomize
