all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
