Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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