I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Randomize
