he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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