He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
