I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
