i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
