im having a threesome with these popsicles
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
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