omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
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