I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize