My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
