You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
third nipple confirmed
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
