We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
