i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
