ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
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