they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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