In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Randomize
